How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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