Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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