i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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