you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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