doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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