Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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