I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
