so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I still have a little drunk in my system
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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