marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
