I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
