she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
