by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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