I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
