I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
