and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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