Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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