is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
