I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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