when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
