I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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