He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
