We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
