Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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