Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
