Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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