its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
