i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
