Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize