you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
