So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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