When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
