i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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