Non-Jews are for practice
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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