I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
