ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Come see our sink grown plant.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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