And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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