the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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