I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The uberlube is also flammable
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize