Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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