Just mADE A PArabola og urine
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
