Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
