I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
