Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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