At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i came on her dog
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
