too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
