I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
