just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
