Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
