you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
