dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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