ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
