well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
do nipples grow back?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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