She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
