we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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