She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
