This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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