Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
