guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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